Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Talon's Birthday

Today has been an interesting day full of emotion. My little brother got married today, so in that aspect it was a wonderful happy day. However, my thoughts had a hard time staying with the happy couple. As different things happened, it reminded me of my sweet Talon. Today is his first birthday.

I have cried several times today, and have missed him so much. Clint has been wonderful, being so supportive. I know he misses him too, but he buries his feelings. He feels he has to be the strong one.

There are so many times, when I think of Talon, I wonder what Natasha feels. I wonder what she thinks when she looks at the cross stitch I made her. I have no doubt it hangs on her wall. I wonder if we even cross her mind when she wears the pj's or robe, or slippers we bought her, or the shirt she borrowed and so conveniently "forgot" to give back. I wonder if she has any conscience at all. Did she ever intend on placing him? Was she using us the whole time? Will she do it again to another unsuspecting family and crush their lives as she has ours?

I wish there were something I could do to make sure no one ever had to go through this again.

Sorry that this post is depressing, but I'm not feeling very happy today.

I hope all is well with all of you.


Carrie said...

Happy Birthday to sweet Talon. I can't imagine how hard yesterday must have been for you! I knew it was his birthday and thought about you often. All my best to you and your family.

Shel said...

I think that it is good to have these feelings, not fun, but good. Remember that we couldn't know happiness without the sadness.
It must be so frustrating to know all these things and wonder what someone else was/is thinking. It truly is a difficult situation all the way around.

I mentioned something about you to my boss this week and he knew exactly who you were. There are many people out there who have prayed for your family, and still continue to do so, even if you never actually know about it. You truly are loved.

Screaming Grasshopper said...

There are no words for me to be able to express how much I just ache for the injustice that has been dished upon you.

You are loved you are prayed for and you are hoped for. You love Talon with all your heart and that rocks! You are the selfless mother in the King Soloman story- I hope you realize that, you are Talon's mother in your heart and no one can take that away!