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Friday, January 2, 2009

In our defense

I would like to clear the air a bit. Several people have commented on the fact that this adoption was never finalized. I would like to say that this is true, and that we never claimed that it was. We know that this has been contested from very early in the process, but we can't simply give up when we love him so deeply. I would like to know if any of you would give up on a child you thought of as your own. We KNOW he is not biologically ours. That doesn't matter to us. He is ours in love and hope. As far as the birth mothers wishes...she told us the day after he was born that she had second thoughts, but that she realized that this was the best thing for Talon, and that she wished to go through with it. She then signed relinquishment, and went back to Minnesota to fight for her 4 year old that had been taken into state custody. We then got news a week later that the tribe was going to fight for him. We still spoke openly with the birth mother, and she said that she was trying to get the tribe to back off, and that she didn't want to disrupt the baby's life, and that all she wanted was her 4 year old back. About a month ago that all changed. PLEASE believe that our desires have NEVER been selfish. We want Talon to be cared for, and we believe that we can do that as well as anyone. Our hearts bleed every day wondering if he is okay, and if he thinks we've abandoned him. We have even considered giving up, not wanting to displace him again, but fully believe that the best place for him is with us. I hope that everyone can understand that we love him fully, and are only fighting for him. Thank you for your continued support, and please keep spreading the word.

Also, it was asked if Talon's fund was still open at Wells Fargo, and it is. Any donations can be deposited in the name of Talon Larson. This is to help with the extensive legal fees we are facing. Thank you again. I hope all of your holidays were wonderful...

and here is looking forward to a WONDERFUL 2009!!!

6 comments:

Jen&Judd said...

My name is Jen and I have left several comments on your blog before...I just wanted to tell you that I admire your strength and your drive not to give up and for being open to what 2009 can bring to your family. I hope you dont have a skewed idea of how adoptions can be. Three years ago I found myself pregnant, not married, and wanted only the best for the son I was carrying. I placed him with a couple from Utah and knew and realized it was for the best. Three years later he is happy and thriving and I know his parents are his parents and that blood runs through all of us...no one should "label" it. I just wanted to share this with you because I want you to know there are successful and positive cases of adoption where it works out for everyone. It was people such as your family I had looked for when I placed. I know the pain of loss (though not the same) and with each day the pain begins to be more bearable. Just allow yourself those moments each day to grieve. I hope your son's heart also heals. You can tell from your pictures how much he loves Talon. Thanks for your updates on Talon!

Jennifer

Reggie Boppy said...

I'm saddened that you feel the need to defend yourself. Try to ignore those comments that are negative. Unless someone has been in your shoes, they can't even fathom what you are thinking and feeling. I can only imagine the heartbreak that this situation has caused your family. I'm praying that in the end, Talon returns home to you.

nature said...

Aw, that is so sad. It seems like the Mother was telling tales and didn't know what she wanted. She would have lost Talon at birth anyways probably until she got clean.
What a shame to drag a nice family in to this mess. Where are all of her other kids? (is there 7?) I am sorry;~((

ElizabethandJeff said...

I think people need to realize that it is normal for birthmoms to have second thoughts on placing the baby. I would be willing to bet most birth moms have second thoughts. However, they go through with it because they want what is best for the baby.

I'm sorry you feel you have to defend yourself. I think this is a situation where people have no idea what they would do if they were in your position. They can't know unless it happened to them.

Texas Lisa said...

I know that there is no way that anyone could just let their baby go without fighting. Don't give up. I know I love all of my children as if I had them biologically and I could not let them go. Are there any new developments? Is the tribe willing to go back to the table? what's next in the fight to get him back?

Laurie said...

Well said Heather! You were led on and lied to, so how could you make any kind of "rational" decision going forward? You didn't need to give birth to him to fall in love with him from the moment you saw him, just like any mother would.