Sunday, September 14, 2008

Getting to Know You

Over the next 2 1/2 months, Natasha and I spoke on the phone dozens of times. We got very close, and considered each other friends. We talked about all kinds of things, from laundry, to religion. She often asked about Kade and if he was excited. We got to know each other very well. I tried to convey everything we talked about to Clint so that he could feel close to her as well. She told me about all her doctors appointments, and how strong he was. One night she called me from the hospital. She had fallen and went to the hospital just to make sure everything was alright. She called me so that I could hear his heartbeat.

On May 26th, I got a call from her that I will never forget. I was outside doing some yard work, and Clint brought me the phone. When I answered I could tell that something was wrong. She wounded upset, and when I asked her what was wrong she said she had a question for me. She said: "If I told you that I had done drugs while I was pregnant, would you still want this baby?" Blown completely out of the water, and not really knowing what to say, I told her yes. She then asked: "If I told you that I was STILL doing drugs would you still want the baby?" I again told her yes, and asked if he was okay. She told me that he was fine, and proceeded to come clean about her pregnancy. She told me that when she found out she was pregnant she refused to believe it. She didn't want another baby, and decided to live as if she wasn't going to have one. She used heroine, and prescription pain pills. Then when she met us, she decided to start taking care of the baby, so she went on a methadone program. She also told me that before she had met us she was planning on leaving the baby at the hospital when he was born. She then told me that she had gone that day to have an amniocentesis done that day to see if the baby's lungs were developed enough to induce. She wanted to be done with the pregnancy and get on with her life. She asked if I would talk it over with Clint and make sure we were still okay with all this and call her back. I immediately went inside and started researching on the Internet, about the side effects of methadone babies. Everything I read said that there were not usually many side effects other than minor withdrawals. Clint and I decided that we couldn't turn our backs on this bay because of a choice that was made for him. We called Natasha back and told her we still wanted him.